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May 16, 2008

My Journey with Quitting Smoking

Peer pressure.  Yep, that was it.  A long time ago in my junior high school, me and the girls would sneak into the bathroom to smoke.  It was "cool."  I was one of those girls.  Now I know better, and I have nobody to blame but myself for being so naive.

Quitting isn't easy, and that nicotine rush is so soothing to my soul.  It is my pleasure, my answer to stress, my heroine -- with an e.  I haven't succeeded yet.  I've tried many programs, self-help books.  Nothing works.  Anything is easier than this.

The gum doesn't work for long.

Now, I'm older, wiser.  And I don't want to be cool.  I just don't want to die.  Is my only choice, Chantix, a drug?  A drug for an addiction.  Side effects and all.  Suicide?  Aren't drugs supposed to prevent death?  Ironic.  Scary.  Fitting.

I need a cigarette ...

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